On Heroes, Mentors, and a New Lesson from My First Music Teacher
Last night I finally got to see Spider-Man: Homecoming. If I had to write a one-sentence review, it would probably be something along the lines of: “Dear Tom Holland, you have my heart.” And does he ever.
Of course Tom Holland is very handsome and charming as Peter Parker. But I couldn’t help seeing this latest take on Spidey as the perfect example of someone being plucked from ordinary existence to do extraordinary things — largely through their own sense of personal responsibility and good character, as opposed to their supernatural abilities.
The Hero’s Journey
In much of what I consume through books, games, and movies, I’ve been obsessed with the idea of the monomyth — the hero’s journey. Behold my weird inner-philosopher’s summary of what that is:
- Ragtag hero receives the call to adventure in an otherwise comfortable and unremarkable existence.
- Hero refuses the call before tapping into some supernatural ability that begets trials, challenges, and temptations.
- A mentor supplies the hero with the knowledge and confidence to overcome fear.
- In writer Joseph Campbell’s words: “Fabulous forces are there encountered and a decisive victory is won. The hero comes back from this mysterious adventure with the power to bestow boons on his fellow man.”
Go ahead and add emphasis on the word “fabulous” for obvious reasons (and insert a hair-flip right… here). And the phrase “bestow boons,” because that’s just fun to say.
Mentorship and Creativity
Peter Parker has a pretty well-known mentor in Tony Stark that got me thinking about who I look up to and lean on for support in times of change, both personally and professionally. Mentors are imperfect and heroic in their own right (just like Tony Stark’s Iron Man). They are our peers, our coworkers, our lovers, our parents, and our teachers.
One of my mentors and coworkers recently introduced me to a great book by Erik Wahl called “The Spark and the Grind,” a powerful read for anyone looking to cultivate their work and their passions through the spark (creativity) and the grind (hard work and determination).
The book is filled with stories and practical ‘how-to’ knowledge, but it has a surprising final chapter on falling in love with the eccentricities of your creativity through good and bad, just like a strong relationship. One powerful bit reminded me once more of the hero archetype. It reads almost like a mentor’s inspirational speech or a Marvel trailer voiceover.
Who are you? Who will you become? What you are is art. Do nothing, and you still embody a masterpiece. Your becoming is beautiful and lucid. It inspires and instructs. Your becoming is also hideous and chaotic. It inflames and confounds. Thus, your life sings both magic and mystery. Fulfillment and frustration. Don’t let the risk confine you. Let your senses craft substance; your mind, meaning; your heart, belief. Allow the combinations to originate emotion; let conviction be fashioned. Desire and despair. Satistfaction and discontent. Faith. Hope. Love. Do it every day. In the end, what you truly love determines who you become.
Pretty powerful stuff from the author’s action-oriented perspective. I suppose the way I relate this back to my own hero’s journey is that you don’t have to save the world to be a superhero. Heroism begins in small things we do every day to find fulfillment, joy, and even creative expression.
A New Lesson from My First Music Teacher
This year I decided to get back into learning and playing music again. More recently this summer, I got serious about spending at least an hour per day practicing piano.
When I was looking for inspiration this week to stay consistent and committed, I somehow managed to track down my very first music teacher from elementary school. My Facebook game is too strong…
Not only did she remember me despite 20 years having passed, she remembered a day that I had come in for lessons after she returned from a trip to Guatemala. That day I showed her how I had stacked 14 or so Hanon training exercises into one, and improvised my own variations to work on technique at home. Having opened up the conversation, she went straight into mentor mode and I was overjoyed.
She offered some much needed acknowledgment and encouragement to soften my regrets of never continuing at an early age. She shared that she still tells stories about my early piano adventures to other students. We talked about my practice regimen, monthly lessons, about my challenges with sight reading, about key signatures, interpreting compositions and balancing ‘feeling’ with the mathematical nature of music.
While I was soaking in her advice and imagining her accent, my one-track mind randomly made a parallel to Star Wars. You know that scene when Maz Kanata says in comedic fashion to Han Solo that he had returned to his calling after so many years?
“A map. To Skywalker himself? You are right back in the mess!”
Leave it to me to find a way to bring Luke Skywalker into something as tedious as music theory… Needless to say you never forget your finest teachers.
The passion instilled in me for music early on as a child has helped me build up a work ethic in other areas of my life even as the practice of playing piano and other instruments like guitar had faded. I can’t seem to pinpoint why or when I stopped, even though music could have turned into a full-blown passion or even a career. Well there is one thing…
Fear
We can’t talk about heroism or bravery without acknowledging the elephant in the room: fear. My own take on this is that heroism in the absence of fear can often manifest itself in small and unique ways every day.
Heroism is… presenting a crazy idea you have to a coworker and asking for honest feedback. It’s having that uncomfortable conversation with someone you love in the hopes that you come out on the other side stronger and better together. It’s embracing someone instead of giving them the old pat-on-the-back hug. It’s saying “Hi” and setting out to make plans with a new friend or an acquaintance who “might think it’s weird, or whatever.”
It’s asking that “dumb question.” Or taking on an unconventional hobby. Or trying to learn a new skill or a new instrument or a new language, and all the little micro-failures along the way.
It’s buying a homeless man a sandwich. It’s a kid passing a note in class to his latest crush and risking rejection. Again. Or maybe it’s telling the barista that your name is Link when it’s not and… just seeing what happens. “Lynn?” she says. “No, Link, as in Link from The Legend of Zelda.” Because I’ve never done that…
In the wise words of Master Yoda, “named must your fear be, before banish it you can.” And I have many fears that relate to small heroic acts, beyond the fear of weird looks from baristas.
Here are some that come to mind in no particular order, and purposefully left out of bullet form in the hopes you maybe skip this long paragraph while I cover my eyes and pinch my ears. Ready, go! — Starting something new and never finishing it, criticism of my writing (hi), judgment for being gay (if you didn’t know…surprise), being rejected by the people I love, fear of what other people think, fear of not being liked by literally anyone and everyone, loud smoke detectors, bees, snakes, terrorism, bugs, being boring, gaining weight, more bugs, heights, sucking at sports, sucking at playing music, embarrassing myself in public in any way, having serious conversations, confrontation, sharing emotion, hurting people, saying the wrong thing, failure, repeat failures, more failure, and failure.
8-Bit Bravery
Fears are aplenty. But any modern day hero will tell you that the fear is always there. You just do the damn thing anyway. And there are ways to practice bravery in small moments everyday. One small risk builds the confidence for another, and another.
Heroism can simply be taking the risk of creative expression and sharing just a bit more of yourself with the world. Today that’s what heroism is for me, and it’s in trying to find a voice through things like playing music again or writing longform.
It’s the main idea behind this writing project of mine that you have stumbled upon, and one that I came up with a year ago and sat on because of, wait for it! Fear. My hope is that this site becomes something of a collaborative project for friends and others to share stories and acts of bravery, whether they are heart-wrenching or comical, big or small.
It’s never too late to become more brave, to seek out mentors new and old, to forge ahead on an adventure with a love of life, and bring with it all the emotion and grit you can summon. The wish I have for myself is that through this process I become more unafraid and committed to cultivating passions of all kinds, that I pick up that theory book and keep practicing, that I write and share more stories. The important thing is to just start.
